Last week I was on a road trip with my friend and roommate. We were moving from Phoenix to Portland in her mammoth 16-foot Ford van, taking the scenic highway up the California coast.
The van is quirky, with sticky doors that need to be full-on body-slammed to open and close. She’s an old fixer-upper, but she runs well. My friend calls her Vannie Mae, with the ironic slogan “Too big to fail.”
One of Vannie Mae’s quirks is her windshield. It fogs up with condensation and the gunk doesn’t fully clear away after spraying windshield cleaner. She could probably use new wipers.
On the last leg of the trip through the stormy Oregon night, moving at 70 mph up the highway, we were tired and determined to reach our destination. Perched on the passenger seat, I struggled to see through the fog, condensation, and assorted splatter on the windshield.
Recalling my rainy highway car crash in 2017, I felt uneasy. I wouldn’t be as confident to maneuver a massive van at that speed in such conditions. Especially with the visual obstructions all over the windshield!
I asked my friend, “Can you see the road?”
“Yeah!” she replied in sheer confidence, with a twinge of confusion towards my question.
“Great!” I said. As long as she was confident that she could see the road, I felt safe.
Sinking into the seat, I closed my eyes and let my mind wander.
I realized there were two different perspectives in that van, but the circumstances remained equal. My fear-based mindset fueled by traumatic past experiences gripped me. I was only able to see the obstacles on my path, whereas my friend only saw the road.
The result was that she got us to Portland in record time. If it had been me behind the wheel, we would’ve arrived several hours later, even more fatigued from the two-day trip. That’s if I didn’t pull off the road and admit defeat.
On our respective journeys, there are always impediments, antagonists, and distractions. If we choose to give them our full focus, there will undoubtedly be unlimited reasons that we don’t reach our goals.
Or we can keep our obstacles in the peripheral while we focus on our path. Those hurdles still exist and will need to be surmounted, but they are simply a footnote. We can’t let them become the subject matter, because then our lives will be full of problems to solve rather than a mission to achieve.
Yes — even if your past experiences have led you to fear what lies on your current trajectory. Everyone has triggers for their traumas. Be aware of them, but do not bow to them.
You can either focus on the gunk on the windshield, or you can focus on the road ahead. But you can’t multi-focus. Choose wisely.
